12.24
Bookgasm review of The Death Panel: Murder, Mayhem, and Madness
by Rod Lott, December 24, 2009
Sarah Palin is good for something after all. Her fearmongering over the health care mess coined a phrase that inadvertently gave Comet Press a terrific title for a crime-based anthology, in THE DEATH PANEL: MURDER, MAYHEM, AND MADNESS, edited by Cheryl Mullenax.
The loose theme yielded some tight writing. Thirteen stories are included, many from young upstarts rather than established vets, and this is a rare case where there’s nary a dud among them. However, that assumes you have a strong stomach and a mind that’s not easily offended. And if that sentence causes an eyebrow or two to twitch, are you in for a treat.
The fatal fun begins with Randy Chandler’s “Lipstick Swastika,” in which impotent hotel detective Trench investigates a fourth-floor guest of Twilight Towers: a buxom German woman who is rumored to be a Nazi war criminal. What happens when e’er the two shall meet was a wild, welcome surprise, setting the reader up for an expectation-shattering 200 pages to follow. As I read this first story, I thought Trench had franchise potential written all over him, and sure enough, the “About the Authors” section at the end confirms that Chandler beat me to the punch.
Tom Piccirilli details a mental hospital breakout that doesn’t turn out as planned, in the tense “Blood Sacrifices & The Catatonic Kid,” while Kelly M. Hudson follows with a little levity in “What Makes an Angel Cry,” concerning angels and demons in a human’s bar, and having to call Satan to survey the aftermath of their dust-up.
“The Neighbor” is next, and it’s your first indication that the book doesn’t flinch in the gore department. Brandon Ford tells the tale of two trailer park denizens, one of whom has a taste — both physically and sexually — for dead girls. Its gruesomeness is one-upped — or three-upped, or whatever — later with John Evenson’s “The Mouth,” about a kink-seeking deviant who meets a mentally handicapped woman whose vagina is where her mouth is supposed to be, and vice versa. True love! The term “outrageous” doesn’t even begin to cover this one.
Scott Nicholson plays “The Name Game,” with a Mob witness trying to acquire yet another new identity, after just having his latest new one stolen. The collection veers back toward horror when Tim Curran explores vampiric creatures among hardened criminals in “Fly by Night”; making a nice bookend for it is David Tallerman’s werewolf-ridden “Rindelstein’s Monsters.”
Quite possibly the best story comes smack in the middle, with “Detail” by Fred Venturini. It’s about a car detailer who advertises as being “discreet,” which means he makes bank by cleaning up the backseat evidence of crimes and infidelities, and sometimes both. Unbeknownst to his clients, he retains evidence of their misdeeds, just in case. One of them is a woman who brings in her Hummer H3 to have her cheating trail erased, and he falls for her. You know it can’t end well, which makes the inevitable all the more tragic once reached.
After that punch to the gut, it’s nice to have Simon Wood onboard with the playful “Parental Guidance,” a jet-black comedy about a loving father who spills his secrets to a neighbor about making his son behave. It’s too bad ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS isn’t around anymore, because this clever number would be a shoo-in for an adaptation.
But things can’t stay comparatively light forever, and THE DEATH PANEL knocks out the light bulbs to close with Erik Williams’ “The Hooker in the Backseat,” a troubled father/son tale; David James Keaton’s grimy “Nine Cops Killed for a Goldfish Cracker”; and Zach Sherwood’s “Board the House Up,” about an abode a cop quickly regrets entering.
With sharp writing and a crisp design to match, the anthology makes a strong case for 2009’s best. It’s only Comet Press’ third release, but already, the small-press label has distinguished itself as a reliable name brand. Pick it up, if you’ve got the balls. —Rod Lott
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